


Caitlin "Can't Handle Her Alcohol" Snow

by exasperatedmoron



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, Drunk Caitlin Snow, Established Relationship, F/M, Hanging Out, Humor, M/M, Not Beta Read, Oneshot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Poor Everyone, idk how to tag but ok, rogues - Freeform, well for coldflash, wow that's a tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-11 00:24:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18671440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exasperatedmoron/pseuds/exasperatedmoron
Summary: when caitlin's drunk, she turns into... a special kind of bomb.no one within her vicinity is safe.





	Caitlin "Can't Handle Her Alcohol" Snow

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't really that good, but thanks for clicking anyway :"

Caitlin came back to the group with another Long Island for herself and a Blue Lagoon for Cisco. She passed (slammed) the drink to him as he gave her a smile, “Thanks Cait”.

“What are best friends for? To have your back and help you get fucked.” Cisco choked on his drink as Lisa and Mick snorted while Len raised his eyebrows in amusement. Barry hid his face in his hands, already regretting being in the direct vicinity of a drunk Caitlyn.

“Cait, I don’t need help getting… I don’t need help with that. Thank you though, I’ll put in a good word to get you nominated for the best friend of the century.”

“Nonsense! When was the last time you got all hot and groovy with another human being?” She downed the rest of Lisa’s shot before turning to the rest of her friends, who were struggling to maintain a nonchalant look. Suddenly, she had an idea.

“Why don’t you guys have sex with him!” Oh dear lord. “Not all at once. Maybe one of you guys can help give his dick a little action!” She turned back to the engineer, ignoring the look of complete horror on his face.

“Look at Lisa! She’s hot and extremely flexible. And you’ve had the hots for her for yeaaaaaars. I’d hit her. Even I wouldn’t pass up on a shiny opportunity like that. Ooooo or Mick! If you do wanna fuck him though, you better do it before I snatch him up. Once I’ve got him tied to a chair having a romantic dinner, he won’t be up for grabs anymore. Buuuuut since he isn’t right nooooow, you should! I mean come on, Cisco! Look at those muscles! I’m sure he’s gotten you all hot and bothered at least once before. Hot damn. But Cold though. Woooooooo. Barry can personally attest to the fact that Mr Freeze is a living, breathing, state of the art sex machine. Even just talking about it gets Barry all flustered. He even cuddles afterwards! You love hugs!! I mean sure, you’d have to share with Barry. But come on. It’s Barry. Not only is he an adorkable brand of hotness. But Cisco, he has no refractory period, is experienced and he vibrates. OH! WHY NOT ALL FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE?! I CAN JOIN!”

Caitlyn’s eyes were gleaming at her extremely genius idea, completely unaware of the embarrassment fest she sent her friends into. It took a while, but she noticed the area around her was pretty silent, other than the party goers on the other side of the room and the music playing.

The glanced around and saw the public staring at her with amusement or at her friends with pity. Even the bartender stopped mid-wipe at her little… ‘speech’.

Cisco’s jaw was completely unhinged, face pale and eyes wide as if he was vibing. Judging from the slight twitches coming from his jaw, as if wanting to say something - anything - but couldn’t, he was completely focused. Oh, good. She didn’t have to repeat herself.

Lisa has a look of mischief in her eye, a smug smirk plastered onto her face even though her hand holding her drink was hovering mid-air, probably because she did not need to know those things about her brother, but was still pretty amused by everything.

Mick’s face was flushed through. Red in a way she never saw before. She didn’t know whether it was from the embarrassment or the whole thing. (Turns out, it was the cause of her confession.)

Even Len was left speechless for the first time in years. His eyes were wide as he held his fingers against his forehead. His other hand, however, was on Barry’s thigh, having gone slack from shock.

Barry’s face was still hidden in his arms. But it migrated from being buried in his hands, to being buried behind his arms, face firmly pressed against the table. A good reminder that he shouldn’t speed out of there and relocate to the next continent. He can do that later.

Caitlyn didn’t know why her friends were all quiet but shrugged it off as she took a sip of her Long Island.

She wasn’t allowed to drink for a year after that.

**Author's Note:**

> no idea how linking ish works but i'm exasperatedmoron on tumblr ! say hi, maybe. if you wanna.  
> :)


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